If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
