As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
