we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
