I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
