You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize