My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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