dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
