Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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