chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Randomize
