did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
