i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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