Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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