but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
