'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
