Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
