There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
