Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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