@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
