But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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