i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
