he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
