Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
