Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
