And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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