You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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