Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
