where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
