I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
