Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
