i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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