So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
