i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
