sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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