I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
