wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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