"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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