what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
