I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
