I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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