Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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