Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
