It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
