Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize