Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"

(650): View more from California

LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.

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(443): View more from Maryland

we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.

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(720): View more from Colorado

We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.

(970): View more from Colorado

Oooh, he sounds pretty classy

(720): View more from Colorado

Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.

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(801): View more from Utah

Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.

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(727): View more from Florida

Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.

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