Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
