so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize