You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize
