and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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