i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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