is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
