Define "chronic" masturbator.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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