Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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