OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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