What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
