Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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