Me too!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
