I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
